Guybrush Threepwood and Herman Toothrot on Dinky Island

Herman: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, what color is the tree?"
Guybrush (after exhausting all colors): "All colors?"
Herman: "Exactly. Now, what has this experience taught you?"
Guybrush: "That philosophy isn't worth my time."
Herman: "I'm very impressed. It takes most people years to reach this point."

-- Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Guybrush Threepwood and Wally in the map room

Wally: "I'm a cartographer."
Guybrush: "You do open heart surgery? In here?"

-- Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

My bike was stolen a few weeks ago while I was at Ryerson. I locked it up to a bike rack outside the Student Centre - under a security camera no less. Campus security reviewed the tape and concluded the thief cut through the cable lock with a bolt cutter and made off with my bike in 14 seconds. Unfortunately, no identifiable facial features were clear on the tape.

Because my bike was rather old, I can only imagine the thief stole it for the saddle, which was recently purchased and expensive. I guess it was easier for him to steal the whole bike rather then spend the time to unbolt the saddle.

I didn't shed too much tear over losing my bike though. The shifting had not been working too great after I bent a couple teeth in the cog in a fall, the brakes were failing, and the frame was starting to rust. It was simply time we parted ways.

In talking to people, I am discovering that Toronto has a major bike theft problem. I am shocked by the number of people I have talked to that shared a similiar tale; either somebody has had their bike stolen, or they know somebody who did. The campus security guard that took my statement lambasted about having on average two people report stolen bikes a day!

As the following video shows, stealing a bike is obscenely easy.



To prevent having my bike stolen again in the future, I have been educating myself about bike security. Let me share with you several things I have learned:

• Cable locks, irrespective of their price, are for the most part inferior to U-locks. Bolt cutters are known to have defeated even the thickess cable locks that are advertised with misleading monikers like "airplane-grade."
• The recommended way to lock a bike is to have a U-lock pass through both the frame and rear wheel. Even better if you have a front quick release wheel is to move it to the rear wheel and pass the U-lock through the frame and both wheels.
• The object to which you secure the bike should be carefully examined to make certain it does not have bolts that are easily removed or otherwise tampered with such that the bike can be removed without breaking the lock.
• Because thiefs are becoming more bold, bolted seats and wheels are not as safe from theft anymore. Consider replacing bolts with quick releases to facilitate locking the wheels and removing the saddle.

Anyhow, I just bought a road bike. I tried posting the picture but Blogger(TM) is having none of it. The bike needs major tuning. Shifting is horrid on climbs, the crankshaft is making all sort of wonderful grinding noises, and the drop handlebar is way too low. Apart from those problem, the bike is incredibly quick. Now, let's just hope my U-lock does its job.